How I Work
My approach includes looking at attachment history in family and prior relationships, patterns of interaction, and how we process our emotions and reactions. We are influenced by our family upbringing, cultural and social factors, life experiences, circumstances, and everyone has a unique journey.
Together we'll figure out what's going on and how best to help you meet your goals. I will get to know you and your story, help you sort through all these factors and come up with practical solutions.
Practical Solutions:
We won’t just talk with no purpose or goal in mind.
We’ll talk about practical suggestions for self-care and healthy routines.
Sessions might include breathing, grounding and mindfulness exercises.
You’ll learn proven techniques like reframing negative thoughts or managing difficult emotions.
Some at-home solutions might include reading, journaling, sports/exercise, art/craft.
Healthy habits like socializing with friends, church/community, hobbies, enjoying nature.
We might watch videos or listen to songs that can help bring inspiration.
Real change. Real progress.
There's lots of advice out there: from friends, family, books, social media, podcasts. Anyone can give advice, but you need someone objective to listen without judgement. You need to be heard and understood, for your feelings to be validated and for a counselor to understand your unique perspective.
I'll help you with solutions that meet your goals, to help improve things and see real change. We'll check in periodically to make sure you're getting what you need from our sessions, and re-evaluate goals and progress.
We'll also celebrate growth, because therapy is hard work! Outside of our sessions, you have to go live your life and continue to work and grow, and I'll encourage you and help you recognize your hard work and progress.
Men
Men have higher rates of depression and suicide, work the world's most dangerous jobs and suffer majority of workplace injuries and deaths. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders and want to provide for yourself and your family. You may have experienced opening up and sharing feelings before…and told you were weak, or told to suck it up, or man up. I get it, and we'll work on things together.
I know the common complaints about therapy for men. You're not comfortable talking about feelings. You don't want to be judged. You don't want cliché questions or to waste your time and money. Going to therapy doesn't make you weak. It's like going to the gym or learning new skills for work or hobbies, you can do the same for your mental and emotional health.
Trust in your therapist is the #1 proven factor for success in therapy, and it’s my job to be authentic and keep it real, and earn your trust to help you with your goals.
Special focus on
Couples:
Couples counseling isn't only for when you feel like you're in crisis or talking breakup or divorce. In fact most couples wait too late - even years - before going to counseling. Sometimes you need regular maintenance or tune-up just like taking your car to the shop. Things were great in the beginning, but over time things got in the way, you drifted apart, lost the spark, or feel like you're living as roommates. You want to figure out what went wrong and find a way back.
In couples counseling, I don't take sides or show bias toward either partner. Together we'll look at the patterns of what happens in your relationship and work on improved connection, communication, resolving conflict, healing & repair, and recapturing romance.
Neurodivergent (ADHD/Autism)
I have first-hand experience supporting my wife and son who both have ADHD. I know what it's like to be an emotional support and how difficult it can be for a partner and parent as well. That led me to study to learn more, and work with clients with ADHD. I've had clients with Autism say they appreciate my approach, they feel heard and accepted. I understand the challenges that neurodivergent folks face: guilt, shame, criticism, judgment, insecurity. Challenges in your family, career or friend group. Dating and finding a partner who understands. Help for couples where one or both are neurodivergent.
I know how to work with you to highlight strengths and address challenges. I try to make my office space accommodating with different lighting options, fidgets, pillows and blankets and not have distracting scents or sounds. Please feel free to bring something to do like your own fidgets, crochet or needlepoint projects, etc., make yourself comfy.
Other Specialties
Trauma - EMDR trained
My EMDR approach utilizes the SAFE method (Somatic and Attachment Focused) to make sure you are safe and prepared to heal your trauma and experience relief with change that lasts. What is EMDR? It stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is an evidence-based therapy that helps the brain reprocess disturbing memories, relieve distress and change how we relate to the past. It is one of the top therapies to treat trauma: from veterans and first responders to childhood and relational trauma.
If you have trauma you'd like to work on, we'll talk about it first and see if EMDR is a good fit for you. It starts like typical therapy: listening to your story, your goals and evaluating if you are ready. We'll also work on some techniques to help you manage stress and triggers through grounding, breathing and mindfulness. Once you're ready, we'll move into reprocessing sessions at your pace so you're comfortable, and always end sessions with some grounding exercises to help you get calm and relaxed.
Spiritual issues
Whether you're deconstructing, doubting and wanting a safe place to process, grieving that something bad could happen to you in a setting that should be safe, reconstructing or returning to faith, I have been there and can help. Spirituality for you may not mean a specific religion or practice, but you may want to appreciate something bigger than yourself such as nature, volunteering, or humanity.
Career counseling
Helping you find your purpose, and giving you practical strategies. I have over 23 years experience working in HR and have coached candidates and managers through every aspect of career life.
I know what it's like on both sides of the hiring process. I have made a career change at mid-life and know what it's like to take the risk while still having the weight of providing for your family on your shoulders. Sometimes we work for the paycheck, but you may want something more, to be fulfilled. Let's talk about how to get there.
Adjusting to a breakup or divorce
This wasn’t what you intended, what you hoped for. But sometimes it’s the right decision.
Helping you process what happened, how to heal and move on with your life. How to learn from it, figure out the type of person you want to be on your own and in future relationships, and make healthy choices going forward.
Types of Therapy I Use
Family Systems Theories: such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Structural Family Therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS/parts work).
Other theories: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Motivational Interviewing, Solutions Focused, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
I am trained in EMDR to treat trauma by an approved organization from EMDR International Association. My EMDR approach utilizes the SAFE method (Somatic and Attachment Focused) to make sure you are safe and prepared to heal your trauma and experience relief with change that lasts.
Fees:
$130 per hour. Limited reduced rates available for sliding scale. Therapy is a worthwhile investment. I understand insurance is helpful for clients to get access to therapy, but I do not take insurance at this time, partly due to added fees and costs, and partly because insurance companies can dictate the care therapists can give to clients and create barriers. I can provide an invoice to submit to insurance for reimbursement. In the future I may be able to accept insurance.
Occasionally I run group therapy sessions. The benefits are a reduced rate and connecting with others in similar situations. Information about future groups will be posted with details.
Hours:
Available evening and virtual hours for flexibility with your schedule.
Virtual only: through September. In-person office coming in October.
